"I'm the Slime Oozing Out From Your TV Set."

After two long, quiet years of reading, writing and research, I've got access to cable television again. It's been two weeks. It's going to take much longer than that to recover.

During my cable-less interval, I've been desensitized to the cultural bankruptcy that TV represents. I'd forgotten about the amazing capacity for TV to pander, belittle, objectify women, perpetuate stupidity, perpetuate the stereotype of the stupid man and cause diarrhea, heartburn, split ends and an erection that lasts more than four hours. Wait... I think I got the side-effects of a designer drug for the treatment of whatever the hell psychosis it is that causes Hollywood starlets go out socialiting without underwear on.

I just really wanted the cable for sports. I've been OD-ing on college football. It helps that my teams are good this year ('Roll Tide, Roll' & 'Boomer Sooner', but mostly Roll Tide, baby!), but it turns out the commercials are not good. I've spent a lot of time during commercials with my mouth hanging open as if I'm trying to taste the so-light-it's-clear beer or eat the Carl's Jr. 4-pound Slop Burger with Triple Back Bacon and Chipotle Anabolic Steroid Sauce, but I assure you that that is not the reason. I love watching sports, but the commentators are almost as loud and crass as the graphics and pundits on Fox News. (Speaking of loud: If ESPN misplaces Dick Vitale, they can always use Chris Berman instead. Since when is Berman that loud?)

I like Sci-Fi a bit, so I checked out the Sci-Fi channel on the off chance that the acting had improved. No dice. I caught a bit of their updated Flash Gordon series, and I can honestly say that I've seen far more nuanced performances on the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Eh. TV is a festering, stinking slime.

You watch this. I'm going to try and catch Sportscenter.

How to drive a train...

7:12am this morning: The driver mentions that the train in front of us is very late and he can't go around it to keep us on time. Duh.

PS - I really need wireless, n'est pas? I hate having to post these kinds of things so late in the day...

Hey, everybody. Remember me?

I've got fall fever. It's going around, and I can't shake it off. At first, I thought it was due to the impending start of college football. Those that know me know how I love the college pigskin. But that wasn't really it, not entirely. Then I realized that it was fifteen years ago this fall that I went off to college. This gave me fall fever in a not-so-good way. But either way, it stuck with me. Why, oh why am I am so fall feverish?

I'll tell you why: heat. Hot, heated, flaming, sun-born heat. That's why.

Now, I know all of you in the 'traditionally' hot parts of the country may be a bit indignant about that statement, so let's try this. Everyone who has central air raise their hands.

Ah-ha!

I know you can't see me through the mighty inter-tubes, but my hand is not raised, I can assure you.

Someone decided that So-Cal, a place with the hap-hap-happiest weather in the country should go sans a/c. Oversight city. When it's 95 outside and 90 inside, it's no wonder I can't shake fall fever. I'd like to see you try it.