Food and drink are not allowed on The Blue Line. Most people are respectful of that. Some aren't. So here's two of my favorite statute-breakers:
A guy sat down with what appeared to be the entire contents of his studio apartment. Once he got his stuff situated in the nearest several seats, he dug a large Zip-loc baggie out of his coat like some kind of latter-day Captain Caveman. The bag didn't contain chips or crackers or a sandwich - all of which would have been manageable train food. No, the guy had chicken wings. We all know that chicken wings are among the messiest foods to come down the evolutionary pipeline and this man had no napkin. But no problem: he was more like Captain Caveman than I had previously suspected. He was one of those put the whole wing in your mouth, clean it and spit the bones out kind of guys. It was gross, but I was hungry at the time and I must admit that I still wanted some. Not his. Wings of my own.
Another guy on another day gets on the train with his bike and a typical clamshell, polystyrene to-go box. There's a immediate stench but I can't be certain of the source. I stopped typing, held my breath and looked more closely. It could've been the man - he was pretty dirty either from outdoor labor or homelessness, but from the cut of his carpenter-style overalls, I suspect the former. Or it could've been contents of the box. He sat down on the floor against a set of doors near me and pulled his bike in front of himself so that he's barricaded in. Thus secured, he whipped out some chopsticks (not a fork, mind you) and tore into what appeared to be sobe noodles - at least visually. But again I can't be certain because of the powerful stinkiness and I began to suspect that it just might be the food. The food or the guy? The food or the guy? Then, it hit me: it doesn't matter where stench comes from - stench is stench. Just stop smelling it - don't make it a research project. So I put my nose in the crook of my elbow and continued typing with one hand.
Seen anybody eat weird stuff in weird places? Post it!
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1 comment:
I think the worst instance of food in inappropriate places was one day in class. I came in and sat down for my Survey of American Literature course, a very boring and annoying course with an excellent professor. The prof wasn't there yet and one student came in with a Chick-Fil-A bag and proceeded to pull out a sandwich, fries and a drink, which he laid out on his desk to eat, about 2 minutes before class started. It was terribly distracting, especially when you already spend half the class thinking, "Why oh why did Emerson ever have to write?!" The professor, as well, felt this was not the right time to snack on a Chicken Sandwich and fries and asked the guy to pack it up and take it elsewhere. Gotta love people without social skills.
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